Well its February the 7th 2020 and I am exactly 6 weeks away from BreakoutCon2020.   I am very excited but also nervous about the next 6 weeks.  Its a massive step for me to look at entrepreneurship as  possible option for a career.   Since I suffer badly from anxiety from my ADHD, in the past I have lived in a "worst case scenario" world.   I am good at managing that world, buts its not the most fun aspect of life.

Living with Generalize Anxiety Disorder or GAD (the dumbest name in the world), is a constant struggle.   Anxiety make you think and feel like you have a problem on your hands and you have to deal with or fix something.   At its worst, you have panic attacks which further makes you feel like doom is ahead.  Have you ever been lost in a strange place before?  The feeling of 'how the hell am I going to figure out where I am?'.  That is anxiety.   The same feeling, but there is a bear chasing you down, that's a panic attack.

These feelings happen during every day events in life like driving to work, raking the leaves, and watching the Raptors win the NBA Championship.   Unfortunately It makes you enjoy things less.   

I dealt with ADHD as a child, anxiety in high school, and panic in college.  Each stage diagnosed by a doctor.  And 20 years later I still deal with it, but I manage it.   

Taking risks in life is something I am not really good at.   That doesn't mean I don't like thrills.   I jumped in the ocean in a shark cage, I love rollercoasters, and I love speaking in front of an audience.   By risks I mean, taking a chance on something.   Believing in myself and not letting my anxiety prevent me from trying something like leaving my job and starting my own small business.

I have been a life long Toronto Raptors fan.   The 2019 Championship season was a dream for me.   And I learned something about life during that fairy tale win.   Fred VanVleet, an un-drafted player, played inspired and told Raptors fans to "bet on yourself".   Thats what Steady Freddy did.   And in 2020, that's what I am going to do.


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